Welcome back to, in all seriousness, what will become a recurring theme on this blog... That Stupid Thing I Did!
In our first installment, I retold the tale of how I locked my keys into my apartment then couldn't get in for an entire weekend. Well, number two happened last night.
I'm a tea drinker. I drink a lot of it. Every night, I fill up my snazzy tea kettle, get the water going to nice boil, pour it into one of my French presses and add some of that awesome Belgium loose tea. Every stinking night I do it! Makes three cups. It's awesome... Heck, I even did it this past weekend on a night when Eric and I both blacked out. Apparently, I've done it enough times, I can actually do it in my sleep.
Last night, I go through the routine. I pour the water in the kettle. Turn the stove on high, throw the kettle on and wait for the water to boil. Now, I do actually leave the kitchen at this time. I'm a busy boy. I've got things I need to take care of. Last night was no exception. I left the kitchen to go save the world (Note: I didn't actually save the world. I just can't remember what I was doing.) A few minutes go by, kettle is steaming nicely and making it's usual "heating up" noises. But something's wrong. It's starting to smell... like... SMOKE! I think to myself, "what is that?" and carry on with what I was doing. 5 seconds later I realize it's from my apartment and it's *cough* effing *cough* smo-- *cough* --key in here. With all the urgency of Michael Jackson leaving a courtroom, I casually amble over to the stove and... HOLY SHIT! IT'S ON FIRE! WTF?!
Now, this wasn't some small, put out with your shoes fire. This was a full blown, "someone get the fire extinguisher" fire. I'm talking level 3. Flames about a two feet high. "How the hell did I set my tea kettle on fire?!" Then I saw it.
A dishrag.
I left a dishrag underneath the effing tea kettle... and it lit itself on fire. You have got to be kidding me. I grab the dishrag, the three square inches that weren't on fire, and threw it into the sink. Thank the lord for those mini hoses off the the side and douse this fire until it's totally gone. Now it's bad. I feel like an idiot. It stinks in my apartment and it's smokey as hell in here. Plus, the dishrag was one of my new ones! I just bought the thing at Target!
So I open up the patio door as far as it'll go and freeze for the next 45 minutes trying to air this place out. Luckily it did and there was only one causality - a brave dishrag that went down fighting.